remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
