I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
