Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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