I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i dont even know how to be here
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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