Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize