Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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