i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
