I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
