You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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