Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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