She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
When did angry sex become our thing?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
