what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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