I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
