I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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