ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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