Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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