I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
