you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
