he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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