I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
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