she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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