And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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