A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
its not stalking. its research.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
