Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
