nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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