I accidentally had phone sex last night
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
