you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
