He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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