He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
