Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
