why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
