She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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