I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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