she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
