I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
