So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
