You're so nebulous sometimes
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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