shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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