I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
