So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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