Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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