Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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