his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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