You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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