you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
