i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
