You made me cry and you don't even care
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
