He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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