I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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