Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
