i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
