I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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