Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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