So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
